Saturday, March 5, 2011

Frozen (2010)

The description for Frozen appeared promising and as the movie rolled, its close-ups, 3rd-wheel tension and lack-of-enough-money-for-three-lift-tickets-what-will-we-do situation set you up. I wish it had continued in this vein.

Vernal couple Parker (Emma Bell) and Dan (Kevin Zegers) take a snowboarding trip accompanied by Dan’s best friend Lynch (Shawn Ashmore). The friction between the three increases as Lynch Frozenvocalizes his resentment of losing his best friend to the his new girlfriend. Her novice snowboarding skills fuel the ire by limiting the number of runs Lynch and Dan can make. Lynch and Parker trade barbs. Dan is caught in between (literally and figuratively). Lynch pushes for one more run just before the ski area is to close for the week but unfortunate timing lands the three stuck on a chair lift at the top of the mountain with no one nearby to assist them.

As the three contemplate their situation, they fail to realize the severity until it’s too late and then they make a rash choice, which is the first of several down the wrong path. If they don’t attempt to free themselves from the lift seat, they are in danger of freezing to death, but their choices are bad and worse. The viable options are squandered. When they pull their thumbs out, it might be too late.

(Spoiler Alert: Read at Your Own Risk!)

The two guys treat Parker like a dumb blonde. Their sophomoric quips are eye-roll-inducing. Then, there are the wolves. Wolf attacks on humans are disputed, but the fact remains: if indeed ravenous wolves existed on or near a popular ski area, lone skiers and/or snowboarders in the back country would have been confronted and attacked already, in turn, spurring on the hunting and killing of wolves. If these wolves were starving, they likely wouldn’t have waited for this moment to stalk their prey.

The only redeeming part of this movie is that the underdog survives, but by the time it’s over, your eyes are sore from the eye rolls.

Writer/Director: Adam Green

Country: USA

Genre: Thriller

Run time: 93 minutes

Scale: 2

Just Go with It / Pretend Wife (2011)

Adam Sandler is overrated and continues to disappoint. Jennifer Aniston, please get a new agent.

This dumb plot revolves around Danny (old man Sandler) being struck by lust at first sight by Palmer (Brooklyn Decker), a much younger woman. When she catches him in a stupid lie, he convinces his doormat assistant Katherine (Aniston) to fake it as his soon-to-be ex-wife. Her two kids ends up part of the package. Soon they’re all on a weekend trip to Hawaii where the lies continue to reproduce.

Just-Go-With-ItPalmer is hot with the brain of a pet rock. Her character must suspend all reality to allow any of the plot twists to occur (big sign of a weak storyline). The shenanigans are ridiculous. There’s over-the-top Eddie (Nick Swardson), Katherine’s fake-German-accented boyfriend with thick glasses (ripping off from Seinfeld in the scene with the sheep) and an embarrassing coconut tie-breaker game. Danny beats the unfunny jokes to discomfort (even Aniston looks annoyed). The two kids, Maggie (Bailee Madison) and Michael (Griffin Gluck), are the most enjoyable and they serve only an occasional chuckle. The professional relationship between Danny and Katherine is idiotic: unprofessional banter in front of clients go way too long and too far. And, guess what? Nicole Kidman appears in this rubbish. No wonder you didn’t see her in trailers. Before Oscars’ season, she didn’t want to be associated with this mess. And, Dave Matthews as her closeted husband? I don’t understand. Don’t waste your time, money or brain cells.

Director: Dennis Dugan

Country: USA

Genre: Romantic comedy

Run time: 115 very long minutes

Scale: 1