Saturday, December 26, 2009

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

My only question…WHY? In fairness, I watched the first hour. It was painful and I turned it off. Don’t let yourself be fooled by the miniscule moments of humor on which the trailer desperately focuses. It’s not funny. There are tiny moments where you chuckle, but that’s it!

Paul Blart (Kevin James) is a down-on-his-luck-with-the-ladies mall cop who has a crush on the woman who sells wigs in a mall kiosk. He wheels around on a Segway maintaining the ridiculous mall rules, such as wheelchairs not travelling at too fast a speed. He lives with his daughter and mother who frequently urge him to forge into the online dating world. (His daughter, by the way, is the product of his relationship with a Latina who “tricked” him until she could get citizenship and then take off).

(Spoiler Alert: Read at Your Own Risk!)

When the mall cop trainee and his coterie execute their plan of taking the mall hostage and stealing profits from the stores, I had my last straw at the ridiculousness. Give me another scenario of hostage taking in the mall but please not a seizing mall store profits. James is funny and has excellent comedic timing; unfortunately, it cannot carry this carnage to your humor sensibilities. I discourage this viewing, but if you must, please report back with your results. I would love to hear that it turns about and ends up being a double-thumbs-up. I’d be dumbfounded if that happened.

Director: Steve Carr

Country: US

Genre: Comedy disappointment

Run time: 91 minutes

Scale: 2

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